Canine Urotechnology Breakthrough – Joggers May Be Able To Run Without Fear Of Dog Molestation: Every dog walker’s nightmare – the pet that is normally so placid suddenly goes wild and attacks a jogger. Well help could be at hand. Joggers and dogs have helped develop technology to eliminate conflict situations using an easily applied liquid to the legs that is totally harmless to the pets – read on!
I am one of those people who prefer to get their exercise very early in the morning. As a result it is not unusual to see me at the crack of dawn here in Llandudno (near Cape Town) taking my legs out for a session down on the local beaches.
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One of the advantages of taking exercise so early is that there are very few other people around so if you are in a nice location you can enjoy the scenery (and I am fortunate because the scenery here is quite stunning). One of the disadvantages of exercising at this time is that people who struggle to control their canine pets also take then for walkies this early to minimise the number of opportunities for conflict (and any associated third party liability claims).
This means that early morning joggers tend to come into contact with doggies that like to have a bit of fun. If you are a doggy and you see a nice pair of legs sauntering along the beach this is like an invitation to play and jump – to a dog this person is simply throwing their legs for you to catch. Fast moving joggers legs can be a bit of a challenge to ‘fetch’ but with a nice set of claws and a well coordinated jaw Rex can catch these ‘sticks’ and join in the fun. This game is even better when multiple dogs are involved – something I am sure can be confirmed by the many dog walkers that have sprung up around Cape Town. Hunting in packs is fun!
Every now and again I am a bit of a wimp. I overreact to the scratches – thoughts flash through my mind like ‘when did I last have my jabs refreshed?‘. OK to be absolutely realistic – very few of the dogs that I come across here in Africa have rabies or some of the other nasty diseases that can be transmitted to humans. Actually I am just selfish – being rather vein I am more concerned that the scars may mark my otherwise unblemished suntan. Or perhaps it is the pulled threads and tears in my designer Lycra sports gear that may look unsightly (OK I admit I am lying here! – Most of my togs are from Asia via E-bay!…and let’s admit it – real men do look better with ragged sports shorts).
So I have been carrying out some research into pet friendly approaches to discouraging my canine mates from liking me quite so much. This is another of those articles in which I am the ‘guinea pig‘ (not unlike the one with graphic pics of my rashes caused by washing additives – link here). The first thing I have discovered in this Doggy research project is that you must be careful about the colour of your shorts. Put simply – white shorts to a dog look like a table cloth and to their mind anything edible on a table cloth is an irresistible temptation (especially if you’re one of those chaps who go out running without any underpants – ever seen a dog turn down a good sausage?)
Dogs are very sensitive creatures and their fine sense of smell informs them at a distance that “Chris is a big softy and fun to play with“. Therefore it is not surprising that they come running after me – they just want a big cuddle and a friendly scratch. Of course when they cuddle with one another – dogs like to have a good bite – it is their way of kissing. However dogs are also very territorial – I am sure you will have noticed how dogs go around weeing all over the place – it is their way of telling other dogs “This is my patch so watch out!“
This encouraged my scientific mind to design a way of using this territorial ‘marking’ system to make my legs slightly less attractive to the canine appetite. Basically my solution was simple – if you rub dog’s urine into your legs this creates a clear sign to other dogs that these legs belong to another woofy’s ‘territory’ (Ever seen a dog biting a tree that another dog has urinated on?).
So now to prevent myself from being quite so attractive to dogs I rinse my legs in dog urine prior to going out on my early morning runs. And guess what? – Very few dogs now come running after me – in fact they appear to have started to run away. What’s more I am sure the dog urine is helping to heal my earlier scratch wounds (because of its origins in the bladder urine is normally sterile – as long as there is no urinary tract infection on the way to the doggy’s willy). It also appears to have a protective effect against the sun (I can’t use suntan lotion on my legs when jogging – it would counteract the discouraging benefit of the urine).
So success at least! I have even trained next door’s dog Sid to do his ‘biz’ on my legs before I go on a run. This requires a bit of planning – first of all he gets a rather salty bit of sausage followed by a huge bowl of water. Then after about 40 minutes he is ready to cock his leg in my direction as I exit from the building. I think he quite likes the idea of marking me up as his ‘territory’.
Now I can run in perfect solitude – nothing comes within a 10 yard radius. In fact even some of the other joggers and early morning walkers in Llandudno appear to have started taking different routes to the ones I use. Side-effects? OK my love life appears to have suffered a bit of a setback!
In a couple of weeks time I will be back in the Alps and I will certainly be keen to try out my new pet friendly urotechnology to see if it also works on the German dogs.
If you are looking for the latest developments in science and technology please visit ChrisDuggleby.com again. Keep fit and be nice to animals!
As with all sporting and pet related products always follow the suppliers instructions before use. If in doubt seek medical or veterinary advice.
Chris Duggleby started his scientific career studying Bacteriology and Virology at the Manchester University Medical School. From there he went on to spend over 35 in the chemicals and oil industries which included setting up a polymers research and development group in Geneva, Switzerland for a major international chemicals company. Following an MBA from Warwick University he went on to lead a number of international manufacturing and marketing operations in the Chemicals, Plastics and Oil industries. This included being the founding President of Formosa BP Chemicals Corporation in Asia. His work involved living and working in Europe, Asia, the USA, the Middle East, and Russia. More recently he was invited to take on a senior leadership position in the Audit Department of the BP International Oil Group. Here he used his global change and risk management experience to help the group reshape its management structures and processes following a major environmental disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. He has now retired to focus on writing about risk management and producing music in his studios near London, in the Alps and Cape Town. If you are interested in risk management check out his RiskTuition.com or BizChangers.com (management of change) sites. He has also recently launched the JointVentureRisk.com site.
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